I want to revisit the idea of social anxiety. I have to start with an apology - I don't have a very clear head as I've recently come back from a hens type meal. My sister - not the one to-be-wed, the other, bought a bottle of wine to share with me, hence the foggy head. However, the time to write is now as tomorrow will be wedding wedding wedding.
Earlier in the day, at the afternoon tea part of the hens events, I was almost in tears, I didn't want to go. I was completely overwhelmed by too many new people, and trying to feel comfortable in a situation where I didn't. The sister - older than me and oh so much more mature - very kindly went out of her way to persuade me. Soon after this was a rowing-on-a-lake part of the events where myself, this sister and my mother shared a boat together. It was a perfect time of the day, beautiful light, and we were surrounded by gorgeous New Zealand native bush. I was able to relax and we had some nice conversation. This helped me to forget my discomfit and I then attended the evening meal almost organically. The dinner was fun, we sat with some fun people, though my angus beef burger was a little well done. It was funny that my entire table of six ordered the same though we didn't discuss it.
I think we all ALL suffer from social anxiety at different times. It can't just be me - though I feel like I suffer more than most. I'm sure others feel the same way. Remember my original post? I blamed living in America (click here to read).
When I review today's anxiety, I was at my worst shortly after I'd had space to think. Too much space. When things were busy, I felt better and forgot my worries. If you have been able to follow and agree with my thread of thoughts directly related to creativity coming from space and time, you might feel as bewildered as I by the idea that negativity that can also flourish in that same space. Depending on your frame of mind and how you let things flow.
My little sister's getting married tomorrow. Where did the time go!?
Totally with you on this one, Annabel! Especially when I am out at an event without David to hide with/behind. Here in Brazil of course, the language thing is an issue too, but I am working on that. It does help to be busy and have things to do - I am often more comfortable when I have one or both my kids with me :)
ReplyDeletewish I could have been there to comfort you hun! Remember, confidence is sexy.. right?
ReplyDeleteHi Taara! I can't imagine how hard it must be with a completely different language to contend to! Culture is enough of a hurdle for me. Jbird, sometimes I think confidence is another thing we hide behind. It can push people away though.
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