Saturday, June 29, 2013

Just a little bit of Anne

When I was in primary school we would visit my Grandma every Monday night after my sister's piano lesson and have fish and chips for dinner.  My Grandma would tape a show for us to watch together after dinner, the viewing of which was not without drama.  The video tape player was not in the best of repair and would often record the show with a fuzzy stripe along the bottom, or various other ailments including a snowy image or inverted colours.  We ended up inheriting this video player - we'd never had one - and it was a fixture of the family sitting room for years to come.  There were many nights when we were disappointed to discover the show hadn't recorded when it was meant to, or the tape simply wouldn't play.  We did manage to get through quite a few movies and shows this way though, serialising them over several weeks.  I especially remember Dr. Zhivago for it's traumatising opening mob scene and the wintery cold of somewhere-in-Russia.  

I've just finished reading Anne of Green Gables and have procured the DVD from the library.  I read the books as a child and watched the t.v. series at Grandmas house. I'm excited to see what it will be like to watch without that fuzzy stripe along the bottom of the screen and the odd missing episode.  

Friday, June 28, 2013

Guidlines for relating with others

I don't know who Dave Packard is or why I had saved the following in my inbox but I think these 'rules' are super helpful to think about when spending time with anybody.  I'm really good at number 10.  Not so good at number 5.  And terrible about number 8.  What about you, what do you think of these 'rules'? Are there any you disagree with?

Dave Packard's 11 Simple Rules

1. Think first of the other fellow. This is THE foundation — the first requisite — for getting along with others. And it is the one truly difficult accomplishment you must make. Gaining this, the rest will be "a breeze."

2. Build up the other person's sense of importance. When we make the other person seem less important, we frustrate one of his deepest urges. Allow him to feel equality or superiority, and we can easily get along with him.

3. Respect the other man's personality rights. Respect as something sacred the other fellow's right to be different from you. No two personalities are ever molded by precisely the same forces.

4. Give sincere appreciation. If we think someone has done a thing well, we should never hesitate to let him know it. WARNING: This does not mean promiscuous use of obvious flattery. Flattery with most intelligent people gets exactly the reaction it deserves — contempt for the egotistical "phony" who stoops to it.

5. Eliminate the negative. Criticism seldom does what its user intends, for it invariably causes resentment. The tiniest bit of disapproval can sometimes cause a resentment which will rankle — to your disadvantage — for years.

6. Avoid openly trying to reform people. Every man knows he is imperfect, but he doesn't want someone else trying to correct his faults. If you want to improve a person, help him to embrace a higher working goal — a standard, an ideal — and he will do his own "making over" far more effectively than you can do it for him.

7. Try to understand the other person. How would you react to similar circumstances? When you begin to see the "whys" of him you can't help but get along better with him.

8. Check first impressions. We are especially prone to dislike some people on first sight because of some vague resemblance (of which we are usually unaware) to someone else whom we have had 
reason to dislike. Follow Abraham Lincoln's famous self-instruction: "I do not like that man; therefore I shall get to know him better."

9. Take care with the little details. Watch your smile, your tone of voice, how you use your eyes, the way you greet people, the use of nicknames and remembering faces, names and dates. Little things add polish to your skill in dealing with people. Constantly, deliberately think of them until they become a natural part of your personality.

10. Develop genuine interest in people. You cannot successfully apply the foregoing suggestions unless you have a sincere desire to like, respect and be helpful to others. Conversely, you cannot build genuine interest in people until you have experienced the pleasure of working with them in an atmosphere characterized by mutual liking and respect.

11. Keep it up. That's all — just keep it up!

Monday, June 24, 2013

Making friends with evenings

I have been finding BabyBird quite hard to settle in the evenings.  This seems kind of ironic to me as she can be really hard to keep awake during the day, especially if it's a particularly hot day.  And she sleeps beautifully during the night.

I received some good advice from my cousin who has sprouted four children of her own.  She said I should make friends with having difficulty settling her.  I like this idea of making friends with it.  It gave me some long term perspective - I had thought once she got used to my routine, she'd go down like an angle on a regular basis.  Not to say that I want to expect BabyBird to be difficult every single evening.  Rather, I want to be  prepared for the difficulty at that time of the day.  That way I can put some calm routines into place so that I know BabyBird feels safe and her crying is purely tiredness, and ensure I don't lose my cool because I'm frustrated that things haven't gone how I want them to go.  

For now we are still trying to go out some evenings, taking BabyBird along with us.  She sleeps either in her car seat or in the baby carrier snug against me.    I can't manage to settle her when we're out in the evenings in her pram, but she's a champ in it during the day.  It works okay if it's after the settling time.  Taking her out in the evening does give me some angst about disrupting her evening routine, something that doesn't bother me during the day.  I guess I want her to know the difference between day time and night time.  I can't help but think my evening angst rubs off on her ability to settle.  

My cousin's second piece of advice was to sit on the couch feeding baby for a lot of the afternoon/evening.  Women tend to have less milk at night and this way the baby will go to sleep with a full belly and sleep longer.  It's confusing for me though, to know when to feed her, and when to let her cry a bit.  Luckily every day is a new day and I can always try again.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

The generosity of others

Since becoming pregnant and welcoming BabyBird into our lives, I have been overwhelmed time and again by people's generosity.  Just today a good friend brought around a meal, a new swim nappy for BabyBird, and a whole wardrobe of clothing for a baby 12months-2years from her friend.  In fact, we've bought very little for our new baby, most of what we have has been gifted to us.  

It's not just material gifts either. I have made many friends since I became pregnant as people always smiled my way.  In the early days of my pregnancy, I didn't really understand it and even felt a bit annoyed that people were always asking me how I was doing when nothing seemed very different.  But soon I appreciated their kind concern, as sleep became more difficult and my body grew aches I never knew existed.  The excessive smiling going on also made it much easier for me to approach and talk to strangers - the happy hormones may have helped this also.  It turns out everybody loves a pregnant lady.  And they seem to love a baby even more. 

Friday, June 21, 2013

One month today

I can't believe it's been a month today since BabyBird was born.  I was extremely surprised when I realised she no longer fit her newborn clothes last week.  Clothes which were once too big for her stretch taught across her body.  And excited to see her paying attention to toys hanging above her on the play gym.

I celebrated her one month birthday by jumping in a pool for the first time all summer.  I didn't exactly regret it but it hurts to swim.  My muscles are like jelly.  My tummy muscles have apparently separated which creates a whole new sensation that's not very pleasant.  I cannot wait to be fully healed but I know it will take time.  BabyBird celebrated by sleeping an extra two hours.  I swear she sleeps twenty hours a day still.  Life must be tough!  Jbird celebrated by somehow missing two appointments he had on at school.  Woops - I guess sleep deprivation is starting to set in.

We also tried taking BabyBird to an organ concert tonight.  I had her in the sling and just before the concert started she let out a really loud grunt/shout so I snuck in a quick feed to settle her.  It was a bit hair raising until she finally settled into a deep sleep (her REM sleep is full of grunts and sighs and loud breaths) and then everything went fine.  We did leave early, but only because Jbird and I are exhausted.  

I love this post my friend shared - her baby was born two weeks before BabyBird - they're all things I've learnt in the passed month.  Or...they're not things I didn't know before she was born, but I certainly didn't understand them like I do now.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Success

I was given the bulb for this Amaryllis back in 2009 when we lived in Baltimore.  Despite the lack of sun in that apartment, it had a splendid year with 12 blooms.  Since then, I have not been able to convince it to bloom.  My mother suggested I quit cutting back the green leaves as they provide energy for the next flower and should be left to die more naturally.  I gave that a go and wallah we finally have another bloom.  Luckily I know a green thumb or my garden would be a wasteland of nothingness.


Thursday, June 13, 2013

A first farewell

See ya Janey, it was lovely to have you stay and we're not sure what we'll do without you. xx

Proud Janey


Lunch at the farmer's market before heading to the airport

A convenient feed at the airport - I never thought I'd get 'em out in public

Navigating Indianapolis Airport with a new bubba

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Comfort in a routine

The newness of motherhood has not yet settled in.  Mum has gone back to New Zealand and after a brief meltdown: do I know what I'm doing?, I've been forcing life into some kind of three-hourly feed-change-play-sleep routine.  Three hourly because I can't keep up with milk production if it were any shorter and I worry about starving BabyBird if I allow it to be much longer.  Thankfully she's a wonderfully placid child and night times are often 4 or 5 hourly (minus play and often change, depending on how coherent I feel).  The routine helps me enormously.  I know that when it's sleep time, she's been well fed recently and she's been up with us for a little while so the cries aren't anything to do with needing food and it's not that she hasn't had some company.  She doesn't tend to cry if she's wet or dirty so I have to be good about remembering to check that she's dry and clean.  If I keep the routine going, she predictably sleeps during the sleep portion so I know that I'll be able to rest then too, or do some job I've been putting off while she was awake and/or needed me.  I hope these routines are helping her too. 

Saturday, June 1, 2013

It's like getting hit by a bus

Perhaps not exactly the same as that but that is the only traumatic experience I can pinpoint right now to compare to giving birth.  She's 11 days old and I still ache and feel tired all the time.  I never want to do anything besides feeding baby, feeding myself, changing baby, changing myself, and sleeping.  If I can manage just those activities in a day I feel okay by night time.  BabyBird seems to be more settled too.  I guess this general malaise is as much as can be expected right now.  At least I have enough energy to eat BabyBird with my eyes.  This photo was ironically taken after I'd fallen asleep while writing this post.