Surviving winter and relearning a writing habit

There has been a GREAT silence on my end.  Well.  'Great' compared to when I was writing daily, and then five days a week.  But I find without those self-imposed deadlines, it has become much easier to put off writing on any given day for fear that my daily thought isn't interesting enough to post, or because I don't write it at the time of my thought and it fleets away, or perhaps simply because I am in partial hibernation.  

I know I am pushing on hibernation's door because I recently spent two days alternating between reading Flight Behavior by Barbara Kingsolver (recommendable for her portrayal of both human life and relationships, and the migratory habits of the monarch butterfly) and watching the BBC mini-series for both Emma and Pride and Prejudice while knitting.  It wasn't even the weekend. Despite my unwillingness to write, I am still determined not to give this space up.  I recognise that it is an extra item I can add to my daily routine, a commodity supremely important to keeping me out of said hibernation patterns.  

After a brief warm spell - I didn't put my long johns on for two days - I have come out of my dormancy and am ready to move again.   Item number one on the agenda: find a life pattern that will allow us to live in any particular country only during the summer. 

The perfect pasta sauce

I still find it funny that Americans call pasta sauce tomato sauce.  Seriously, it gives me a good giggle.  Mostly because when we want tomato sauce, we want what Americans consider ketchup - it seems like a polar opposite of pasta sauce.  Jbird didn't even realise this until this week and it took me a good long time to figure it out too. 

Back to the subject at hand.  I have been making our pasta sauce since we moved here, to varying degrees of success.  It should be an easy item to make, in my mind, but it turns out it's not always.  It's not simply a matter of simmering some tomatoes with other ingredients.  They need to be simmered for long enough to incorporate flavours and soften the tomatoes and have enough flavour added to stop them tasting too tomato-ey.  I've made enough watery, weak pasta sauces that it has become my personal vendetta to always make it well.  If I don't have the time, I don't make it.  If I haven't made it for a while, I'll look up a new recipe to see if there're any twists or turns I might take in my cooking.  In this journey, I have found that basically marinara (basic pasta sauce) is marinara.  There aren't too many changes that can be made.  My key is sugar.  It brings out the flavour to the tomatoes, while cutting their acidity.

Yesterday, I was reading a recipe for pasta sauce on a blog which offered me a secret ingredient.  A secret ingredient.  I was immediately drawn in and read through her detailed, humorous description with the usual  excessive number of additional (yet gorgeous) photos. You want to know what the secret ingredient was?  She did basically everything I do but she also added a jar of store bought marinara.  Huh? Her reasoning was that you couldn't get that depth of flavour without it and whatever they've done in the factory to create it.  Phew, I thought, why bother at all?  

The thing is, I don't disagree with her.  If I throw in that little half cup of left over sauce from earlier in the week, the brew comes out soooo good.  Because the second cooking up of any pasta sauce just improves its flavour.  But I'm opposed to her addition of store-bought.  Why bother spending all that money on fresh/canned ingredients when you could just spend a dollar on store bought in the first place.  

Lacking leftover pasta sauce, I have found that that sought after depth can also be achieved with stock/(red) wine vinegar/Worcestershire sauce or all of the above.  Oh and I often bung in cumin and/or cayenne pepper and always some kind of spice when I'm first softening the onions.  And never forget that teaspoon or two of sugar.  But also patience with a long slow cook and tasting it as you go to see how it's developing. 

Very-special French toast

It was Martin Luther King Jr. day on Monday and to celebrate we had some very-special friends over for breakfast.  They're very-special because the girl lives all the way in up-state New York so we only rarely see them together.  That makes all of our friends in NZ and other parts of the country and world very-special too.  Just so you know.

Because they're so very-special, I wanted to make the breakfast a special affair.  I found a lovely recipe in my new book Tartine Bread for delicious French toast designed specifically for that fussy country bread I've been making.  I call it fussy because last time we tried using it for French toast, the egg cooked so that it was like having a fried egg inside bread.  Weird.  I found this horrid concoction so stressful that I had to take some time in our bedroom to myself.  The recipe calls for first sealing the custard mixture and bread with a quick burst on heat on the stove top and then baking it for 30 - 40 minutes.  This gives the base a caramelised, crispy texture while the egg mixture custardises beautifully as it slowly cooks in the oven.  The baking time also takes the stress off kitchen deadlines as everything else can be prepared in the meantime.

We insisted on the favourite NZ combo topping - syrup, banana, and bacon.  Jbird has been given a large bottle - at least a litre (!) of real maple syrup which shone in this meal.  I also threw a few blueberries on top and Jbird sifted icing sugar over everything.  As side dishes we served some mini lemon/poppy seed cupcakes - my current favourite since my birthday - and we chopped up some grapefruit.  We offered plunger coffee and tea.  It was a pretty special breakfast, worthy of any NZ cafe.  And any very-special friends.

A dawning awareness

Since we arrived in August 2009, I have had health insurance for less than half the time - generally travel insurance from NZ - which I have never used.  I am sharing my following spiel regarding this because people have often asked me for advice on getting and using health insurance here in the States and I've always said: We have to buy Jbird very comprehensive plan through each school he goes to which we try not to use because even the $25 co-pay is a lot of money to us.  I have nothing.  The follow up question is most likely: What do you do when you need to go to the doctor?  I don't.   The reason I sporadically get travel insurance is because it will cover an emergency - what if I were to walk under a bus? our financial lives would be ruined - and it's vastly cheaper than anything offered here.  When I don't have it, it's a stress that I carry.

Because we decided to have a baby which is outside the limits of travel insurance, we bought spouse health insurance through the school which should (fingers crossed) cover most (all?) of my medical expenses to birth this baby.  Ironically, after avoiding buying insurance for so long, I'm currently covered by two insurances until April.  

Buying American health insurance is a relief for me.  Though NZ travel insurance offers around a million dollars coverage should something dire happen, it is a provider on the other side of the world which doesn't seem very user friendly.  And I would need to return home within a time frame to make sure I can redeem it.  The American health insurance, on the other hand, only offers around $100,000 worth of medical expenses, but it is immediately accessible. 

I've been to the midwife a few times now, and had numerous tests done, and the statements have started to arrive in our mail. Both of the issues I have had so far, I believe are common issues.  First of all, it turns out the data entry people don't always put the right things into the computer - we have been billed twice for different things my insurance will cover.  Fixing this involves numerous phone calls to both the insurance provider, and the health care provider, and back again.  Have I told you my dread of talking to Americans on the phone?   My accent and trains of thought are always extremely foreign to the person on the other end.  

The other problem I have is the lack of transparency on the statements - they do not offer plain English explanations about what they are for.  Tests show up as four digit numbers.  I have made many phone calls trying to find out what these mean without much luck.  My insurance provider can offer me the scientific terminology for the digits.  My health care provider has no idea what the four digits mean.  If I offer them the scientific terminology which I have so painstakingly transcribed over the phone from a patient insurance customer representative, they are uninterested.  They do not seem very interested in listing the tests for me, I'd like to know exactly what money my insurance provider is paying.  I have not been able to find evidence for one particular test I know I had which I would have liked to know the price for as Jbird ended up doing the same test.  My midwife flippantly told me "it's a 25 dollar test".  Is it though?  None of the tests cost $25.  They range from $36 to a couple of hundred.  I guess we'll find out when Jbird's statement comes through. 

A small convenience

We don't own a t.v.  We do have two laptops and for a long time, we'd watch the movies I borrow from the library on these.  The sound wasn't great and our dvd players don't always work as they should, especially in hot weather.  Last year we bought a desktop computer with a nice big flat screen and some great speakers off a friend for Christmas which Jbird set up as our media centre.  The computer has all our music on it so we no longer need to fuss around with hard drives and plugging in speakers.  Our viewing and listening experiences have improved considerably.  I often sit and watch movies alone and for a while I was in the habit of using Jbird as my remote: can you turn it up?  It wasn't ideal.  Even if I was close to the computer, the keyboard and mouse sits behind the screen so we'd have to kind of turn the screen and reach around, using the mouse left handed to work it.  For Christmas this year, Jbird bought me a wireless mouse.  My life has changed again for being able to pause a movie or change the volume or choose some different music all from the comfort of our couch, and always in front of the screen.

A fresh starter, a fresh start

For my birthday, I requested some items to help my sourdough bread endeavour including a dutch oven from Jbird, a bread knife from my sister, and my very own copy of Tartine Bread from Alana.  I totally recommend this book if you want to start baking country bread like a true baker.  

Since my last disgruntled post, I've been developing another sourdough starter.  I made this one from the powdered yeast again.  I figure I will work with that until I can get a natural starter working.  This morning I baked my very first loaf in the dutch oven and it turned out delicious. With a dutch oven, I keep the lid on for half of the baking which allows the loaf to rise in its own steam.  This, along with the heat conducted by the cast iron, replicates a baker's hydrated oven.  After about 20 minutes baking time, the lid is taken off to create the delicious crust.   I wanted to make sure the starter was working so I made a plan white loaf but I will return to trying to perfect my whole wheat loaf next time. 

What do you think?  See the large holes in the crumb?  I should have left it in longer but I had a student here when I was taking it out so I couldn't think about it.  Jbird and I have already demolished nearly half of this loaf. 

A set back

I had a set back with my bread baking endeavour when I threw out my starter (!?).  I feel really mad at myself for doing this.  My primary reason was because I wanted to make a natural one from the yeast found in my kitchen both because I think I'm clever enough to do this and because I've heard that type of starter will last longer.  I also wanted to have it in a smaller container in the fridge.  Unfortunately, it is really cold right now and we're trying to save on electricity by not leaving the heaters on constantly.  Consequently our kitchen is not the ideal spot for a starter to ferment.  After a couple of days of sitting with only some tiny bubbles to show for it, I tried giving it a little boost by sitting it in a warm oven.  Silly me - I didn't preheat the oven thinking I'd just blast the heat for a minute and turn it off.  I got distracted and left the heat on which basically started cooking my starter attempt AND the plastic container started to soften so I had to throw it all out.  

The thing is, the starter I had was working really well and it seemed to be lasting well too.  I should have kept using it until I had a consistent secondary starter all ready to go. In the meantime, I have nothing to use for the loaves of bread I want to bake right now so I'm just going to have to go with a slow rise normal bread.  Very annoying.

The outcome

I wrote about the birthday cake last week.  It was a true feat to create so I felt it deserved posting some photos here.  The second photo is just to show you its height - see how the milk jug on three saucers is shorter?

 

Free? Bloomington

Well, it can be almost free.  Last week I found birthday coupons for a free sandwich at Which Wich - imagine a yummier Subway, $5 at MacAlister's - a family restaurant, a free dessert at Fazoli's Italian Restaurant, and a free pastry at Panera Bakery and Cafe.  These are all redeemable without any other purchase.  I considered going to Denny's to get my free birthday breakfast except I just love our home-made breakfasts too darn much.  I also got coupons for buy one, get one icecream at both Dairy Queen and Cold Stone creamery.  I'm definitely redeeming the second one, despite the weather, because I hear their creations are amazing.  I know these restaurants are just trying to get us in their doors but it's lovely to have an excuse to get out and about with Jbird when the weather is so cold.  Our circumstances allow us the free item only but we love the treats.

A trip to the thrift store

We finally made it to half price day at the thrift store again.  I used to go every month but it is always on a Saturday which is my busiest day of the week so I rarely make it anymore.  This week we were looking for things for the baby.  We crammed a bunch of little hard covered books and toys into a $3 bag which came to $1.50 because of the 50% discount.  We found a piano glockenspiel for her first musical instrumental.  We also found loads of onsies and clothes which were all $2 a piece, discounted to $1 a piece.  They all look really new - I suppose newborns grow out of their clothes very quickly so they don't get much wear.  Some of the items have never been worn.  It was a really fun little shopping spree.  This is my favourite dress of them all.  I especially like that it's not pink.  You don't have anything to compare it to but it's really tiny.

 

Cake(s) for another celebration

I haven't even put away the Christmas decorations and we're still eating left over Christmas treats yet I find it is already time for more baking because a certain somebody is turning 32 on Sunday.  32! What an age.  

For this celebration, the celebratoree wanted a Rocky Road cake from this recipe book that I found at the library.  I really really wanted to make the delicious looking extremely espresso chocolate cake but Jbird doesn't like coffee and I shouldn't have coffee so I went for the rocky road for it's textured appeal.  It's a fun creation to make: a three layered cake with thick rocky road icing in between each layer and all over the tops and sides.  I made the cake today.  It seems almost like a brownie, with 10 ounces of melted chocolate, another cup of chocolate chips, and a cup of toasted and chopped nuts.  The recipe called for pecans but I opted for a mixture of almonds, pistachio, cashew, walnuts, and hazelnuts.  I hope it was a good decision.  Tomorrow I will make the rocky road icing but I'm just going to put it between the cake layers.  I prefer the smooth look of a chocolate ganache on the outside.  To add a bit of texture, I will press nuts, dried apricots, and marshmallows all over the top.  I'll do the ganache on the third day (Saturday).  I find it nice to spread out making these creations as they can take a long time and I start to get sloppy and frustrated after too many straight hours on one project.    For second dessert - what birthday girl wouldn't want second dessert? - I'm making lemon poppy seed mini cupcakes with a chocolate cream cheese icing.  The recipe book had so many great ideas, I couldn't stop at one recipe.  I'm saving a third recipe for Valentines day - Jbird and I only tend to have cake for celebrations. 

I hope you don't mind me not bothering to share the recipe as it belongs to the owners of the book.  I also hope this post will encourage you to consider looking for new recipes rather than sticking to what you already know. 

Gingerbread house

During the blizzard and subsequent snow days I decided to expend some pent up energy on the laborious task of building a gingerbread house.  It really is a task too which takes several days to accomplish.  Day one the dough is made, chilled, rolled it into house shaped components, and baked.  Then it is left lying around for a day or so to harden.  Day two is building day as the walls are all put into place.  The building part is quite a frustrating job as the icing doesn't stay the consistency you'd like it to stay.  Sometimes it will appear as though the walls are all holding together just to watch them collapse when another part is added to them.  These have to be left a while to make sure the icing is going to keep those sides together before putting the roof on.  This was a particularly frustrating task for me as I had made the side walls in two pieces (silly me) and the roof pieces did not want to stay put.  Decorating was mostly just fun.  There were sweets galore until I was on such a sugar high, I knew I was going to crash <KABOOM>, a mess on the kitchen floor.  And now it sits looking pretty on the piano mantel, where it is likely to remain until one of us thinks to throw it out, looking delicious but growing stale.  Here are some pics - see the tiny ducky pond and gingerbread snowman we placed out back?  I can see there would be scope for a lot of fun creating the garden had put the house on a bigger plate.

Winter warmer - part one

It has been very cold here.  We had that blizzard that gave us a foot of snow over a week ago and a bit more since then which hasn't yet managed to melt.  Jbird and I went for a bike ride just to get out of the house yesterday - best to get moving or I get the winter blues.  It was snowing lightly which was very pretty, but not sticking, so the footpaths were dry and safe to bike on (mostly).  It was so cold, and we'd expended some energy on the bikes, so I felt excused in coming home to make a decadent hot chocolate straight from a 72% dark chocolate bar.  I melted the bar (around 70g) in 450ml milk, heating it to just before boiling.  I probably didn't need to use quite so much chocolate - Jbird thought it was too strong and he normally likes his food flavours far stronger than I do.  It reminded me of something you'd drink at the Chocolate Factory in R. Dahl's famous book.  Rich, creamy, and delicious.  Needless to say, I fell into a deep chocolate coma on the couch shortly afterwards.

Little Bird update

We had our first ultrasound yesterday.  It was really exciting to see the baby moving all around inside me, sucking her thumb and wriggling her legs.  Baby's placenta is sitting directly between the outer wall of my belly and the baby which is why I haven't really been feeling kicks.  Or what I have felt is so faint, I didn't think they were kicks at all.  Especially after I told a certain mum-the-midwife I thought I felt a kick around 17 weeks and she told me it was definitely too early.  So then I decided I was just feeling a lot of digestion going on.  Tummy grumblings.  But now that I know they should feel faint, or lower on my abdomen, I can recognise them all the time!  Notice I'm calling her a she? Yes, we're having a little girl!  It was lovely to see everything is tickety-boo - and that there is only one in there, phew!  We're half way there, 20-ish weeks to go.

In the first picture on the left, the baby's head is on the left and she's holding her fists up to her face with her round belly to the right.  The picture next to that shows her head on the left then tummy on right but I'm not sure what else is going on.  The bottom left picture is her profile.  She has the brains of her daddy.  The bottom right picture supposedly shows us she's definitely a girl but I can't make it out at all.  The placenta is the blob above her.  Jbird finally heard her heartbeat at the appointment too.

 

Walking in the winter wonderland

We had a blizzard on Boxing Day and everything still looks gorgeous out.  I went for a walk yesterday and managed to get lost as my usual points of reference are covered in Snow.  When Andy and Nic were here we went down to the lake for a walk through woods.  It was simply gorgeous with snow falling as we walked and everything covered in white, the usual woodie sounds muffled by the snow.  It was slightly eerie to come across the bloody remains of a carcass that had been dragged a short distance by an animal or a hunter.  Blood looks really gruesome in contrast with the white of the snow.  Jbird was disappointed not to have a sled for the hills.  My photography skills do not capture the beauty as it really was but here's a pic from that walk.

A return

Christmas and New Years have come and gone since my sudden hiatus.  My hostessing skills were stretched to the limit but it was fun to have a brother and his wife for New Years and others for our Christmas dinner.  The Bloomington Bike Gang, aka those members of the Bird family living in Bloomington, spent every waking moment together for a few days.  Much fun was had, although we didn't use our bikes once as a lovely friend lent us her car while she was away. 

I have definitely been feeling the loss of this space although it was nice to have the break.  I think I want to continue with a change to my 'rule' for how I use it in the hopes that I can retain creativity, motivation, and careful editing.  Luckily I am the one making the rules.  From now although I will still try to write regularly, I will no longer write 5 times a week. The thoughts will remain very everyday-ish in keeping with the name.

Happy New Year!