A change in status

For the first two years that we lived here I was obsessed with my label, with being something {somebody} more than I was.  When we met someone new, the conversation would often start with how Jbird was here in the States to play the piano.  But then the person would turn to me and ask the big, sad question: "and what do you do?"  I grew to hate that question. 

When I pondered on what to answer, I tried to mix it up a bit.  Sometimes I'd start with: I go to the library multiple times a week, I've taken up crocheting, and I cook a lot.  I've put on 5lbs since we got here.  Or...I watch reruns of [insert current favourite show].  Because in that first year, I watched a lot of TV.  It was disgusting.  We haven't had cable TV since then and my life has been all the better for it.  I did often say I'm a teacher. But that was my least favourite answer because then I'd have to add on the visa pointers: but I'm not working at the moment because to get a job, I need to be sponsored by the company for a work visa...No, there are two types of international student visas, Jbird's doesn't allow me to work.  The other visa, the one he didn't get, allows a wife to work. etc. etc.  I made it too complicated because it was too important to me. 

Since we arrived in Bloomington last August, this hasn't been an issue because I could answer I'm a student.  It was a much more satisfactory answer to give and it also reflected how I felt about myself.  I have been doing something that helped my career and it has been great.  From last Wednesday, I'm no longer a student - so long as I pass everything.  However, I don't think I have the same anxiety that I had about who I am.  I kind of like just being me in the here and now.  At least, I hope I do.  I suppose week-one of my big status change is quite early on in the game and it's easy to be optimistic right now.

Maybe I will get some pointers by watching Jason Segel on the Five Year Engagement again.  Have you seen it yet?  You really must.  I know I've talked about this movie before but it really is my favourite.  Jason had to learn how to be himself away from the context he thought made him happy for his fiancée.  And he got really good at it, except that he didn't realise so he didn't let himself be happy.  Anyway, they work it out, and I think we've worked it out too.  Right now, I'm going to enjoy the sudden lack of deadlines with sleep-ins and not really very busy busy-ness.