The wounded became the nurse

At the end of a supremely fun weekend of many happy moments, Jbird heard one of his best mates was passing through Bloomington and they decided to meet at a bar.  As I like to prepare myself for the week ahead on Sunday nights, I declined the extended invitation.  I knew Jbird wanted me to come too, but I wanted him to enjoy this short visit with a friend he hadn't seen for a long time, without me holding him back.  I definitely don't like a late night on a Sunday.  Jbird, however, is on summer vacation so it was kind of perfect for him.  About an hour after he left, I realised I needed to meet this guy, I'd heard so much about him, so I decided to join them.  Jbird wasn't picking up his phone - which is pretty standard fare for both of us - so I tried biking to his favourite local bar, hoping to find them there but they weren't.  An hour later he arrived home to pick up some liquor and try to convince me to come to a new friend's house for cards and drinks, and to meet the old friend.  After some discussion we decided I'd drive and he'd bike so that we could leave at different times.  I tell you all of this to give some necessary detail, but also to let it be known that I can be spontaneous, even though I don't always choose to be.

We went, they drank a lot, we played cards.  I felt happy to have some new friends.  At around midnight, I said my good nights in a weird "alright, I'll see you around", kind of way. I guess it was late, they were drunk, I was sober, and there was a cat that I was allergic to: I was ready to go.  I shook Jbird's hand - it was a joke, you had to be there - and told him to bike home carefully. At the time everybody was acting like it was time to call it a night, Jbird was even on his bike when I left, saying his own farewells.  

When I got into bed later, I felt a little bit worried about Jbird so I tried calling him.  And texting.  Not that I really think he'd answer if anything was wrong, I just wanted to know that he was okay.  When there was no response, I decided his phone was probably in the car but I was too tired to get it to find his friend's phone number and call him instead.  I figured he was probably alright, I was just being a worry wart, and I fell asleep.

Four hours later, Jbird climbs into bed.  We talk briefly about the night, how much fun he'd had, he was sorry he didn't come home when I did, and I start to drift off to sleep again.  But he's breathing funny.  Then he asks me to turn off the fan, he had an accident and the air hurts.  After my earlier worry, I panic a little bit: Are you okay? Did a car hit you? Can I put something on it?  It turns out that on his way home he rode into a land island at high speed when he was checking behind him for cars and flew off his bike.  He takes a pain killer and we decide a little bit of wizard ointment will help his grazes.  For some reason, I cannot deal with dressing the grazes.  They're not really awful, I've seen worse, but it's like my body goes into shock. The combination of the worry and then something actually happening has sent me over the edge.  The room is too hot and I can't breathe so I fuss around getting the AC working and then put my head between my knees, apologising all the time to my wounded soldier because I can't help him when he needs me.  

Eventually we both lie down on the bed, talking, and the next thing I know someone's shaking me "I've got you, I've got you, it's okay." but I can't work out who this person is, he looks so strange. I feel as though I've been dreaming and for some reason I'm on the floor. There's a weird buzzing in the room and I can't hear properly.  I'd fainted and fallen off the bed.  Slowly my wits come back but the sensation won't pass.  The room is spinning all around and I have a terrible ache in my stomach.  So I crawl to the loo, unsure which end will explode first.  Oddly, I don't throw up but I have diarrhoea.  I had always thought this kind of a situation would call for throwing up rather than the other.   

It's Jbird who brings me a bowl, water, then chilled water, and finally ice wrapped in a tea towel.   Later when I'm shivering in bed he turns the AC and fan off telling me I'll be okay, and he'll put it back on if I need it.  How pathetic, my husband falls off his bike and it's me who needs the nursing.  The next morning there's blood on the sheets from his wounds and I feel as though I've been hit by a bus - most likely more for the lack of sleep than anything else.  He sleeps on and off all day and I manage to dress his wounds without fainting again.  I think we'll be okay.

tea towel - kitchen towel

loo - toilet/bathroom, obviously

land island - raise curb in the middle of the road. What do Americans call that?   

wizards ointment - an amazing herbal remedy for open wounds found in NZ