A photoshoot

While Jeff and Marie were here they offered to snap some family photos. They are simply gorgeous, here's a preview.

Our favourite blooper

B'more visitors

I remember bemoaning my lack of 'heart' friends who live in close proximity to us after a lovely visit home to New Zealand.  I had only recently moved to Bloomington.  Heart friends are those people you can easily talk to. They know your likes and dislikes and have shared part of your life with you. They can pray with you and cry with you. Distance and time apart doesn't seem to matter in your relationship.  I feel invested in their lives.

We had some guests from Baltimore stay a few nights over the weekend.I would consider these guests 'heart' friends. I met Marie very shortly after moving to Baltimore and she quickly became a very good friend. She met Jeff about a year after that and they were the friends we drove back to Baltimore to attend their wedding for last year.  Marie and I have had some great conversations and I miss her and her sense of fun.  We had a lovely weekend together catching up, meeting their dog Cooper and introducing BabyBird to them.  I am excited to hear about the rest of their road trip out west as far as Denver.  I love knowing them and sharing life with them even though it's at a distance.

When your baby starts to lift her head off the ground

She will look a little something like this...

An exciting arrival

Jbird's parents arrive on Monday and I'm super excited.  Really, really excited.  They get to meet BabyBird for the first time ever.  I can't wait to see her with her Grandma Sue and Grandpa.  I am aware I need to calm down, after such a high always comes a crash. 

There is a light at the end of the tunnel

Wouldn't you know it?  BabyBird seems to have found her sleep!  Today she napped almost as much as she did when she was brand new.  I have been thinking about not swaddling her any more.  We were taught to swaddle her at the hospital and for a long time she seemed to really need it.  But I have recently learnt of the developmental risks for strength that come from being bound up so often so I was anxious to stop.  These photos are how I found her after a nap recently.  She was becoming really good at freeing her limbs which seemed to wake her up.

"Look at what I can do...are you going to pick me up yet?"

Since her purple crying sessions started at three weeks she has really struggled to nap during her cry-ee time and even in the early afternoon.  Well. Today, without the swaddle in the way, she found her left hand fingers and sucked away at them, while her right hand stroked the top of her head.  Every now and then she would have a little wail, and then suck her fingers furiously. Eventually I thought she'd wailed enough and I went in to move her to her swing only to find that she was wailing in her sleep.  Eventually she moved to a deep sleep and the wailing stopped altogether.  Then during the late afternoon, she slept without even really wailing except for a five minute cry as she tried to get to sleep. And wouldn't you know it? She slept during her most difficult hours from 7:30 until 10.  We were at bible study so she was in her car seat, but she normally stays awake that entire time, only dozing off towards the end.

This is one happy mama.  Sleep is such a marvelous thing and it has been my focus for such a long time, I feel nothing but relief.  Perhaps her 'colicky'/purple crying days are nearing an end?  Whatever the case, I've managed to embrace it since I wrote that last post, it no longer leaves me feeling so fraught.  

"I will only sleep in my chair"

They have a name for it

I wrote this a week ago but didn't think to press 'publish' so it just sat as a draft...

I have a friend with a baby a few weeks older than mine and she posted this on her facebook.  If you don't read this article, you may not understand what I'm talking (ranting) about.  

Purple crying.  Crying that babies do for no apparent reason, sometimes for hours and hours.  Americans often refer to this as 'colic', stemming from a time when it was thought the crying was due to stomach pain.  This has been discounted for most babies.

Our baby has her cry-ee time some time in the afternoon/evening.  Either from 5-7, or between the hours of 7 and 10.  When it happens she doesn't tend to sleep, she's fussy.  Holding her makes her worse.  She started having these sessions when she was about 3 weeks old.  Her worst bout (so far) was over a five hour period, with a short break in the middle following her meal. 

It doesn't seem to bother Jbird, he can somehow tune it out, but it bothers me.  A lot.  I swear it's worse than 30 ratbag 10 year olds, ten minutes before the bell is going to go and you've flat run out of things to say to them. Each of those minutes can feel like an eternity.  Previous to becoming a mother, I had thought those were the worst minutes anyone could endure.  Now I know. What I don't understand is why ladies who are mothers of children (who presumably were babies once) don't seem to remember and tell me that she seems hungry, and those who haven't have all sorts of 'helpful' advice.  The bottom line is, whatever I do, she probably won't stop until she is ready to stop.

I think she's better than lots of babies.  At least her witching hour is before the dead of night.  And it doesn't happen every single day.  And we have a wonderful electronic swing which nearly always fixes her.  And if we go out or have people over, we can basically avoid it all together.  And 99.999% of the time I know that at ten o'clock I can feed her, burp her, change her, and she'll go to bed smiling and gurgling at me.  And sleep.

  

This all sounds quite positive.  But there are times when I feel as though I'm going crazy because I've tried everything and she just doesn't want to stop. Or she fell asleep only to wake up 30 minutes later.  Why did she wake up again?  Why won't she stop crying?  It makes me feel helpless to not be able to help her even though the experts say it's perfectly normal, and part of her development.  They also say that the new parent will feel helpless and it can aid in both the onset of postnatal depression and difficulties in bonding with the child.  It all seems so contradictory, that I would know I am going to feel helpless and yet I feel helpless.  Jbird and I have had many deep discussions about this very thing.  They never end very well.  

Anyway, I'm glad to have a name for it.  Glad to know it's not just my baby who sometimes seems to be broken.  Glad to know there is an end in site. Glad to have such a beautiful little girl in our family.

"There's no reason to cry, I just cry to cry."

Be prepared for the what-if

My dad's in the hospital with viral pneumonia and BabyBird doesn't have a passport. What do we do if something serious happens? These are the realities of living as an expat that I don't often let myself contemplate. I meant to get her a passport weeks ago but I didn't.

Her first camping trip

Our trip to Lake Michigan featured family, mozzies, smores, sausies on the barbie, raspberry picking, frisbee golf, and most importantly - plenty of beach time.  My big brother lives in Michigan and came over for a day with his wife and sister-in-law.  They made it a party.  BabyBird slept pretty well and avoided sunburn and bug bites.  

Swimming lessons with Uncle Andy

Putting our feet in the water

Perfecting the art of laying out

Cooking out

Safe from mozzies

Smores and some crazy guy

Surprise soup

Tonight we had surprise soup for dinner.  Before I defrosted it I thought it might be some kind of a stew but it turned out to be a spicy chicken pasta soup.  It had a distinct flavour which I can't quite put my finger on.  

It's been so helpful to have these meals frozen in our itty bitty freezer.  They seem never ending though I know they'll be all gone soon enough.  I can't even remember who made this one though I know it was from when mum was here because I remember adding the pasta.  I think we must have made it together with the left overs from a chicken roast.  Tonight's meal was timed perfectly.  Jbird was out playing frisbee and BabyBird extra fussy during dinner-making time.  I was even able to talk to a close friend on the phone while I nursed the baby.  I am aware that I normally rush her in the early evening so that I can check the progress of whatever I have cooking, leading to a fussy baby and a fussy mama.  

Returned to the jungle state

This is the best time of year for my garden.  I've been fairly lazy since mum left about maintaining it and it has become a veritable jungle.  I'm especially enjoying the phlox, echinacea (see image) and various other flowers.  There are several green tomatoes waiting to ripen.  I hope to have a booster crop as they take up a good portion of space.  There are some unidentifiable gourds.  The local animals eat them before I ever get to see them in their mature state but they are a massive green addition to the jungle state.  The herbs are a delicious addition to all our meals.  Basil, parsley, dill, marjoram  thyme, mint, and rosemary.  The sunflowers surely won't grow any taller and are just starting to bloom.

'Tis the season for berry picking

and berry picking we will go.  Blueberries are ripe here in Indiana so we drove 40 minutes south with a large group of friends to see what we could pick.  Blackberries were also on the cards.  Fat, juicy ones.  I made muffins multiple times, we gave a few away, and we ate the rest.  6 pounds of blueberries.  I can't believe how quickly we got through them.  This trip was a bit hot and not BabyBird's favourite.  She wasn't happy in the carrier, and a bit grizzly in her carseat.

While we were on our camping trip we went raspberry picking - picking a grand total of one punnet.  This time we had BabyBird's pram and she fared quite well. Michigan berries are extra yummy, I'm always glad when their blueberries are in season in the supermarket.  

All tuckered out

We just got back from a camping trip.  I'll write more about the trip later.  BabyBird fared extremely well, far better than me as I felt nervous a lot of the time.  I often feel nervous but I'm slowly growing in confidence as Jbird and I learn to problem solve this parenting gig together.  

When we returned home this afternoon, Jbird had to dash off to a gig taking the van with all our luggage.  Including our two swaddles.  I didn't know if BabyBird would survive a nap  in her cot without her swaddle, she's a very wiggly sleeper.  She can do it in her carseat and even in her pram - if it's hot enough.  She must have been pretty tired because I didn't hear from her for over two hours.  Lovely wee girl.

Crying while she nurses

Poor wee BabyBird just had a frenectomy to correct her lip/tongue tie.  We decided to get it for her because nursing still causes me some pain and is tiring for her.  There are also later repercussions for her if she doesn't have the procedure such as dental and speech issues.  I was born with an upper lip tie and it must have torn naturally when I was a child as I haven't had any problems.  I have scar tissue on my upper gum. I was the only one to make my mum bleed when she was nursing me.

Just having the doctor show me the exercises we have to do to keep her tongue and lip separated from her gums was awful for me so I sent Jbird in to hold her during the procedure.  He said he'd never seen her cry so hard.  When she came out to nurse with me she was still and silent.  I guess she was in shock.  

She's a grizzly wee thing right now, crying while she nurses.  She's also a little bit drooly as her tongue isn't used to being so free so it's producing extra saliva.  We were excited to see her tongue extend further out of her mouth than it ever has before and her first latch felt wonderful.  Now her mouth is a bit swollen so it just feels how it always has.  Hopefully we can be good about keeping up with the exercises so that they remain unattached.

What's in a smile?

BabyBird has had smiles for us for quite some time and they are now becoming more intentional.  I am normally so engrossed in them, and in smiling back at her, I don't think to get the camera out.  I'm glad I remembered to catch these ones.  

Happiness is...

finding pickled beetroot in the supermarket for homemade hamburgers

a beer with said burgers

splitting four different cupcakes between friends and trying every flavour

flower cuttings from my own garden

sitting by the pool with a friends and a glass of wine on a hot summers evening

coffee

July four

We had a true Independence Day this year.  It started with a morning parade downtown.  There was a brass band playing, we sang the national anthem (or those around us did), listened to the Declaration of Independence, had a 21 gun solute for the war veterans and cheered for the floats.  Our friend was there with his high school marching band and their flag girls.  There were a lot of dancing girls, a few veteran floats, a loud fire engine, and this guy.  

BabyBird had been given the perfect dress for the occasion.

Later in the day we attended a couple of BBQs and a great firework show.  It was a long day but BabyBird was a champ.

The completed nursery

Do you remember this?

I was quite pregnant when I took that photo and quite overwhelmed.  We finally got the cot last weekend so we were able to put the finishing touches on BabyBird's nursery and now it looks more like this...

We didn't really do much.  Mum made the curtains and we all sanded and painted the dresser.  My sister sent us the froggy nappy sorter for Christmas.  The images on the wall are from target, they match the curtains.  Curtain material was very hard to come by in this small town!  We will continue to use the room as a spare room, and have BabyBird in with us when visitors come to stay.  

Here's BabyBird in her big girl bed.  She looks tiny, just like she used to look tiny in her pram before she put on 3-4 pounds and grew several centimeters.  I was worried she would find it hard to sleep in the strange big space but she kept to her regular schedule.  In fact, for two nights in a row she's given me 7 hours sleep.  Thank you my darling.

Grabbing summer by the horns

With the arrival of BabyBird came a time of resting.  It was pretty hard for me and I definitely pushed the boundaries of what I should do, probably waylaying my recovery even further.  I didn't mean to but I found myself resenting others that were enjoying their summer while I felt tied to the bed and the couch - to feed our bubba, and because I needed to recover.  About ten days ago I started to feel human again (mostly) with a lovely feeling of energy and ability.   I'm mostly back in the kitchen - not quite making three course meals, but baking bread again and I made Jbird some cookies recently.  I'm able to walk fairly long distances without regretting it.  Most importantly, I feel more comfortable about BabyBird's daily needs and wants and what we can do together.  Yesterday we did five out-of-the-house activities and survived to tell the tale.  Unfortunately, I also have this strange feeling of having blinked and missed something - so much of her newborn-ness has disappeared.