I have met a lot of people who are working on their masters and around the middle of it they have made me think glad it's not me! They don't seem to be anywhere near the end, and they hate what they're doing. It's part of the reason I chose course work instead of writing a thesis. That huge, unachievable outcome seems like too much.
I'm around the start of another assignment writing mania and I have so many books out of the library, I can't keep track of them. So many downloaded research papers, I don't know what I have. So many ideas, they don't seem to mould together. I get up every morning with the potential of a new day but it slips away under my fingers and I don't feel as though I've achieved anything. It's overwhelming.
I think, hope, that it's a good overwhelming. One that I'll eventually see the other end of. Right now, I can't see how that could be. But in a month, I'll be over the moon and will potentially breath a little bit easier again.
I received a grade back this week and my lecturer had written something like: One of the best, most reflective, I have read of this kind in years...etc. Every single column in the marking grid had the word exemplary. I mean, have you ever? I have not. It sent me into a spin of euphoria but I'm coming out of it with the thoughts: these (new) assignments are so much harder, bigger, longer, how can I ever compete with that?
Watching The Hours last night did not help things. If you have not seen it, I recommend it. Except, maybe, if you're in the middle of writing anything. Merely considering the writer and her outcome.
Go you! And remember, you don't have to compete with that awesomeness, you just have to find it in yourself again:-)
ReplyDeleteyes. I am learning about this for assessment. It's called having an internal locus of control (where you know it's you that makes a difference). I have to make a poster about it.
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