A Tumultuous Ride

We could have lived an easier life. But instead we chose to move so far away and start a family on the other side of the world.  We became accustomed to a life lived abroad.  Our move to Omaha gave us relief from the unknown, as we started to plan for a possible future there.

Then life got flipped.  Our trajectory couldn't seem to find any strength until finally we were on our way home.  Although it was a long-expected outcome, it took me by surprise and has been a difficult journey. 

I took comfort in some words from a friend today as she described my life as throwing me around recently.  Except that we chose this year.  We told life we'd stay put, we'd wait and see.  We could have come home sooner.  So I can't agree with her.  I willingly jumped on that ride and had to allow it to run its course.

I often wonder about these decisions, heading towards feelings of regret.   Why did we stay so long, why did we move to Omaha, should I be working and not at home with the kids?  These are a few of the questions that sometimes tumble through my mind.  But there is joy in there too.  I love my job.  I love the scenic views.  I love living opposite the Manukau Harbour.  I love having my mother right here, and JBird's mother just over the bridge(s).  I love the new car we bought.  I love teaching my children Maori in a land where it makes sense.  I love the food! Running is so much more enjoyable here than anywhere else I've run.  It's as though someone finally showed me how to work my 3D glasses.

I look forward to caring about Christmas more next year.  I will be better prepared for it, I will enjoy teaching my children silly and not so silly traditions.  But this year I'm letting other people take charge.  Instead, I'll teach my children how wonderful life can be when you're with the people who love you and the people you love.  I'll delight at their ability to grow and learn when life is sane and makes sense to them.  When I'm there for them.  I'll enjoy cultural observations which answer some questions about the way I acted away from home. Ah, home.  Here we are.