A Tumultuous Ride

We could have lived an easier life. But instead we chose to move so far away and start a family on the other side of the world.  We became accustomed to a life lived abroad.  Our move to Omaha gave us relief from the unknown, as we started to plan for a possible future there.

Then life got flipped.  Our trajectory couldn't seem to find any strength until finally we were on our way home.  Although it was a long-expected outcome, it took me by surprise and has been a difficult journey. 

I took comfort in some words from a friend today as she described my life as throwing me around recently.  Except that we chose this year.  We told life we'd stay put, we'd wait and see.  We could have come home sooner.  So I can't agree with her.  I willingly jumped on that ride and had to allow it to run its course.

I often wonder about these decisions, heading towards feelings of regret.   Why did we stay so long, why did we move to Omaha, should I be working and not at home with the kids?  These are a few of the questions that sometimes tumble through my mind.  But there is joy in there too.  I love my job.  I love the scenic views.  I love living opposite the Manukau Harbour.  I love having my mother right here, and JBird's mother just over the bridge(s).  I love the new car we bought.  I love teaching my children Maori in a land where it makes sense.  I love the food! Running is so much more enjoyable here than anywhere else I've run.  It's as though someone finally showed me how to work my 3D glasses.

I look forward to caring about Christmas more next year.  I will be better prepared for it, I will enjoy teaching my children silly and not so silly traditions.  But this year I'm letting other people take charge.  Instead, I'll teach my children how wonderful life can be when you're with the people who love you and the people you love.  I'll delight at their ability to grow and learn when life is sane and makes sense to them.  When I'm there for them.  I'll enjoy cultural observations which answer some questions about the way I acted away from home. Ah, home.  Here we are.

We're Home

...and I'm not sure how it happened.  January 2017 took us from Indiana to Omaha, Nebraska.  While there the two options for our next visa fell through, one of which would have taken us to the Gulf Coast, Mississippi.  Mississippi?  I often wonder what life would have been like had we lived there.  The is always followed by a sense of relief.

Omaha treated us well.  Life was quiet yet very happy.  We lived in a cute little blue house with a huge yard.  There was snow in the winter, wild violets in the spring, and fireflies in the summer.  I couldn't tell you about fall as we left before it came.  We had a snake in the basement, black chipmunks in the yard, baby eagles drinking from our paddling pool.  Jackson turned 2 and Rori 4.  We had new friends, some we may keep forever.  I went to the gym often and started teaching the children to swim.  Rori had a sweet violin teacher but she didn't go to preschool.   Justin and I joined a community orchestra for the first time in the States.  Our family bonded as we spent all day every day together.  

While visiting Misssissippi to buy a house, we received the news that that door was closed and we would be moving back to New Zealand.  It was a great shock but we sold and gave away most of our things, put our piano on a ship, and drove back through old haunts to visit friends on a Grand Farewell Tour.  

Back in Auckland, we are living in my mother's basement apartment.  The ocean (Manukau Harbour) is across the road, Mangere Mountain right behind us.  This is an idyllic place to live while we find our feet.  

It hasn't been easy.  The children have shouted a lot and so have we.  I spent term 4 teaching New Entrants at a school just a ten minute commute away, and Justin is at a Music academy teaching in a similar position to the one he had in Omaha.  Our hours don't coincide but our children have their parents. Finding myself back in familiar territory was at first terrifying.  One day at a time I found my feet, remembered where I had been.  I am now looking forward to teaching Year 3 at the same school.  I am so grateful to be teaching again.  Ultimately, I am grateful to be home.  

Do you not know how it is with love?  First comes delight: then pain: then fruit.  And then there is joy of the fruit, but that is different again, from the first delight.  And mortal lovers must not try to remain at the first step.

    C.S. Lewis: The Pilgram's Progress

A Strange Land

“It’s so hot, I’m covered in sweat!” Sara said to her mother.  They had just landed in Bangladesh and were waiting in the customs line at the airport. Sara felt tired after their long flight.  She couldn’t wait to unpack some thinner clothes when they got to their new apartment.  

"Who es your husband?"  The customs officer asked her mother in a strange, lilting accent.

"I am unmarried."  Her mother said.

"I will need to know the name of your father."  He replied.

Sara’s eyes pricked with tears at the original question as her father had passed away after a brief and painful battle with cancer just over two years ago.  She had come to Bangladesh with her mother to help them take their minds off the gaping hole his death had caused in their lives.  But now she wasn’t so sure they had made the right decision.

“I want to go home.” she said to her mother as they walked away from him.

“We only just arrived, Sara, give it a chance.” said her mother.

As they collected their luggage, Sara noticed hundreds of male faces outside the glass walls of the large airport.  They were very tidily dressed, small in stature, and wide eyed.  Some of them were holding hands and leaning on each other.  Some talking animatedly, but many were just staring.  

“Why are they all here?” Sara asked their driver but his English was so heavily accented that she couldn’t understand his response.  

They were driving on the road now and the noises and colours were intense.  Brightly painted trucks and rickshaws, overly-dented cars.  People everywhere.  Bells and horns.  In her over-tired state, Sara felt faint and ill.  

Their new apartment provided some peace from the crazy outside but it felt sterile.  It was furnished with wicker furniture, blank walls, and tiled, empty floors.  

Sara’s sleep was broken by the strangeness of everything that night.  The smells were almost a taste in the air that she couldn’t recognise.  There were so many unusual noises: hundreds of rickshaw bells, the call to prayer, hoiking on the streets, loud yet unaggressive shouts.  And the heat, it was as though she could never drink enough water to cool herself.  She wondered if this new life would ever feel ordinary.

“It’s time to go.” Called her mother.  

Sara grabbed her water bottle as they left the apartment.  A teacher from the school had offered to show them ‘Old Dhaka’ – the bustling ancient part of the city.  Stepping outside, Sara felt alive and excited.  She had been promised they would spend most of the day on various local transport – rickshaws, boats, van gari; shopping for a saweer kameez – the commonly worn clothing for women; and eating local food.  

As they stepped up onto the rickshaw – a colourfully decorated chariot pulled by a bicycle – she felt a smile stretching across her face.  They had just sat down and the driver took off twinkling his bell.  As he wove through traffic and took corners at break-neck speed, Sara was exhilarated.  She could barely believe this was her new home.

A moment in someone's life

“NO! Them’s mine! Them’s mine! Jax!” I feel mad.  Jack is stealing all my blocks from my bootiful castle. 

“Them’s mine! Get off, get off!”  Mummy’s not paying me any ‘tention so I make sure she can hear me this time. These blocks are dumb.  I push them off the table and go get Ellie and Blankie.  

“Come on, Ellie, you need go to bed.”  Blankie fits comfy around Ellie and I think it will be a good idea to put them in my hut.

“HEYWHATHAPPENEDTOMYHUT!”

“Oh, I had to do that, Aria, I needed the chair for lunch.”

“But it’s all messed up and I need to put Ellie to bed.”

“Okay okay, let me put it together for you again.”

“And I need some nice music to play so I can be a fairy and dance while Ellie goes to bed.”

“Yes, yes.”

“My nice music I want to dance and be a fairy.”

“Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum! Jack’s got my dress he’s got my dress he’s got my dress.” Ouch, why did I fall over? “I falled over!”

“Okay, everyone pack up.  Let’s go upstairs to bed.”

But I’m not tired! “I’m not tired! I’m not tired. I’M NOT TIRED.”

“Okay.  But it’s bed time so come on, we’re not going to have time for stories.”

No stories? “No stories?” I run to the stairs. “But Jax won’t come! Jax isn’t coming.”

“He’s coming, hurry up, get on the potty.”

“I’m not tired!”

“NOW.”

My name is Aria Grace. I have bootiful curly hair.  My mummy tells me Ari. Sometimes she tells me monkey.  I’m two and a half and next I’ll be five.    Before I’m five I’ll be three.  I’ve got May.  Daddy’s got Sep’ber.  Mummy and Jax have Jan’ry.  It’s my birthday soon.  I want a purple hoola hoop at Dollar Tree like I show mummy.  Mummy told me bed time but I’m not tired so I’m playing.  I’m reading. And sewing. I’m really good at sewing. And one day I can read but not yet. I don’t always know what da pikchas saying. Ellie needs another song. Maybe he’d like Row row row boat. Or Twinkle lil’ star.  No Row.  I sing Row.

“Ari. Aaaaaari. It’s time to wake up.  We’re going to see the big boys now.”

I open one eye and close it again. I’m sleeping now, mummy. But she’s patting my back. I’m sleep, I’m sleep.  

“Let’s go potty and I have a snack for you, Ari. Goldfish and raisins.”

“And I want some cheese.” I told her.

“Yes, cheese too.  Let’s go, Ari.”

I crawl into her lap for a cuddle. I want her stop talking but she doesn’t.

“Maybe we should take your bike.  Would that be a good idea, Ari? Should we take your bike?”

A camping we shall go

I see I mentioned last year's holiday (see blueberry post) but failed to post about the awesome road trip we took around Lake Ontario.  We have this photo on our fridge from that lovely holiday.  We stayed with many close friends and it really was a special trip.  BabyBird traveled extremely well for her age.

This year we found a relatively cheap, decent family tent, so I really wanted to go camping.  Let's face it, every summer I want to go camping.  It took me all summer to get around to it because I felt as though Jbaby was too little and it would be unmanageable.  Finally we decided to coincide our trip with the birth of my niece in Michigan.  We would visit her on the way there and on the way back, only going for five days and four nights.  Hopefully a shorter trip would make it more manageable with our own little one.  

Introducing BabySiggy.
 

We headed all the way to the far north of the lower peninsula of MI to visit Mackinac Island and some surrounding beaches, and stopping at Traverse City on the way home.

The camp ground in Mackinaw City where we stayed was lovely.  It was situated on Lake Huron (neighbours Lake Michigan where we normally go) in some woods.  Each campsite offers a picnic table and a fire pit.  Here is our situation and a sneaky peak of some yummy camp-time french toast.

Mackinac Island was an interesting day trip.  It's famous for its lack of motor vehicles with people getting around by foot, bike, and horse drawn buggy.  We took our new bike buggy for the babies and hired some bikes.  Jbaby wasn't too keen on that one...

I was glad to have some obligatory beach time, and even gladder that Jbaby found his sleep while on the beach.  Just a glad mummy all around.

They both traveled really well but I was left feeling pretty tired afterwards.  I'm glad we went, was glad to get home, and look forward to many more family holidays with slightly older children.

Fresher cut herbs

Check it out! I have discovered a really great way to keep herbs bought at the supermarket fresher, longer. I think the key is washing, discarding damaged/old looking leaves, and carefully drying them with a paper towel before putting them in your jar.  At first I thought it was a bit ridiculous to have such a large jar but it fits on my bottom shelf pretty nicely, even with all the excess food that having my mother stay calls for (we are foodies together).  Here's the article I read which suggested this in the first place, with further suggestions for other fresh cut herbs.

Here's the cilantro we bought for some Asian flavoured salads I have been making.  Yum.

And then he was seven months

Trying to crawl, enjoying sitting, munching on food.  All those lovely things that herald in the second half of a baby's first year of life are upon us.  

With Mum here, we thought it would be nice to have his dedication.  Of course we forgot to get the obligatory family pic after church but here is one from the ceremony.  

This dedication was a timely reminder for me that Jbaby and Babybird are not me, they are themselves.  Seriously, I have discovered an element of control that I want to gain and just can't.  Like Jbaby drinking more milk (or simply gaining more weight), or Babybird sharing and playing with other children nicely.  As such, they will need to make lots of decisions for themselves even if I am making a lot of them for them right now.  However, they need to be taught a lot and the church can help Jbird and I as we raise them.  Even with the church's help, things may not go to plan.  It's only God that can offer the grace they (and we all) need to live in this world. 

A new gadget

Look what mum bought JBird for his birthday this year...

 ...and I love it!  The different buttons allow for different temperatures for various teas and even plunger coffee.  We are prolific hot drink drinkers, even throughout the summer.  Do you see the "keep warm" button?  It will keep the water at whichever temperature you want it for half an hour.  Perfect for when we have guests.  Thanks mum.  

A few lentils in my diet

I used to make a vegetable soup with brown lentils but to be honest, the colour started putting me off it.  That and I ate it made it too often.  There's nothing like eating something too much to inspire boredom.  I've had a good break and I decided it was time to start eating them again.  I found this yummy red lentil curry.  It's fairly similar to the old soup but it provides a lovely change in both colour and flavours.  I add some chicken stock (and less tomato paste), yogurt to aid its creaminess, and a little lemon juice as any good Indian chef would.  

Any other lentil suggestions would be heartily welcomed.

Boldly go where no man has been before...

And then there were four.  Four you say?  Yes, four.  Only it turns out I don't have a decent photo of all four of us so here's a funny one taken at around 10 days old.  Presenting Jackson George Bird.  Born 29th of January 2015, weighing 8lb 4oz and measuring 21 inches long after a lovely (seriously, I thought it was lovely, I was a warrior princess!) short birth.  Thank you for not coming on my birthday, Jay jr.  You made your mummy a very happy lady.

Obviously many men have been there before but shortly after Jackson George Bird was born, I was beginning to wonder how on earth so many people have done this and not died trying? It seemed impossible.  But I got over that and life has gone on and everything is much better now. In fact before we knew it, he turned 5 months.  FIVE MONTHS.  Seriously, I don't know where those months went but the crazy days turned into weeks and months and now I find the days a lot less crazy and actually quite pleasant. In fact, he has slept through the night 5 times over the passed seven days.  Five times! We must be onto something here?  In any case, I take that as a good sign for my future sleep habits, though I'm not sure I ever want to give up napping in the afternoon.

Stay-at-home survival

BabyBird and I have much more time to ourselves since summer ended.  The first couple of weeks took a lot of adjusting.  BabyBird was going through the week of horror as she grew four molars.  I was so used to rushing around, I found myself bored and slightly down by 2pm.  I have since found grateful purpose in spending my days focused on her and am really enjoying being at home.  Also the weather is cooler and basically perfect so we can get outside more.  I'm always happiest when I can be out doors.

One of my favourite things that we do is our 'early'* morning walk. I have heard that sunshine before 10am gives the healthiest UV rays.  I'm also happy to do some light exercise regularly while I'm pregnant.  BabyBird has had her moments but she has become a very willing participant.

Every day we venture slightly further - the surrounding neighborhoods have some gorgeous houses and mansions - and today we found a book house.  What is this?  A small glass-doored cupboard with books to swap.  I took the Marquis of O' and am sure I can find some we have finished with here to add to it's shelves.  A wee hidden treasure.
 
*it's not so early - we never get out before 8:30!

Any ideas?

I wonder if any of you creative mums out there have some ideas for feeding toddlers? BabyBird is a fairly good eater but I want to make sure her diet remains varied so we don't become one of those mac 'n cheese meal families.  You know, the type that have one meal for the kids, like mac 'n cheese, and another for the adults? No offense if you are one of those families, that's just not for me! It's been a steep learning curve and our meals are definitely more kid-friendly than they were before we had a little eater in the house. At the moment her repertoire of meals is okay but I want it to become slightly more varied.  As you can see, vegetables are seriously lacking!  I don't mind a repetitive breakfast but lunch and dinner are getting really boring.  I try to vary it up with things we like to eat but she isn't big on saucey meals.  

Can you add any ideas to our menu?  What do your kids love to eat?


Breakfast
porridge with yoghurt, honey, and cinnamon
yoghurt with either honey and cinnamon or some kind of berry
banana/grapes
sourdough waffles with jam and yoghurt
pancakes 
zucchini or banana bread
muesli with yoghurt and milk
Daddy's cereal

Lunch
cheese and ham melted inside either a wheat or corn tortilla
sourdough bread with peanut butter or butter 
fruit
scrambled egg
hard boiled egg
anything her daddy is eating
cheese and crackers

Dinner
spaghetti  with either a white or red sauce and cheese (and I sneak in vegetables and tuna)
cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese please
roasted chicken leg
peas peas peas peas peas please and corn
roasted kumura (sweet potato) or potato chips (fries)
root beat (she used to love this but has recently gone off it)
rice noodles with stir fry 
rice
sushi

End of season blueberry picking

We headed south early this morning with some good friends to go blueberry picking.  It's really the end of the season so these blueberries are rather tart compared to last years' pickings (check out how tiny BabyBird was in those days!). 

We're leaving to go on holiday in a few days so those fresh blueberries were causing me a little bit of stress while they sat around on my kitchen table.  I finally got to them tonight after the little one went to bed.  Would you like to hear the list?  It really is a little bit of everything.  I made popsicles, blueberry lemonade, zucchini and blueberry bread, blueberry muffins, and a small sample of blueberry jam.  I only frozen about a punnet though Jbird helpfully informed me afterwards I could have just frozen them all.  I guess I was thinking about what I felt like eating and what we could take on the trip with us.  And I was in the mood for a cook up!

Our baby is one

It's barely believable that the tiny little squirmy thing that had a pterodactyl scream turned one this week.  I am sure every mother is in awe of this momentous occasion, how can they not be?  Every waking moment for the passed year has been concerned in same way with this little defenseless person.  The birthday reminds us of our pregnancies and the labour and delivery room; of life pre-baby.  Before this first child we could only guess at what kind of parents we would be and then she came and the trial and error began.    Every day since then has brought a new surprise and with it a new joy.  BabyBird's first birthday has helped me realise what a birthday really is. 

We didn't want to have a big party - there's nothing worse than a baby being put on the spotlight and finding it too overwhelming.  Instead we had four small celebrations.  I already shared about our trip to Michigan.  We also had a little party with some boys I look after, our own little present time here at home, and one with our bible study where she is the youngest member (and she sleeps through the studies).  These required three cakes and, as the American tradition required, three cake smashing ceremonies ensued.  Although normally there would only be one I assume.  Although she had been completely uninterested in her strawberry shortcake, she got the hang of things quickly and loved the other two cakes.

Off to the north for a weekend away

We snuck away for the weekend up to Kalamazoo, MI, to watch Jbird's teacher perform a solo recital.  Here's a review.  I recognised one of the Scarlatti Sonatas from a BBC Jane Austen mini-series, was fun to hear it in its entirety and live.  I loved the rest of the recital.  We have only heard him play concerti with different orchestras.  Although they are flashy and exciting, they always leave me wanting more.

The following day while Jbird was at a Master Class, my brother, sister-in-law, and I went for a 5 km meander through some farm land.  Their local farm-share is organising a fun run so we were checking out the track and looking for possible issues with it.  BabyBird slept happily on my back.  It's chillier up there, I was glad I had bundled up.  When she was awake she seemed to enjoy observing different farm animals.  

We had decided to celebrate BabyBird's birthday a few weeks early as we were staying with family.  It was a small affair.  We made it a party by having streamers, balloons, and party hats.  I was hoping for a good cake-smashing but she wasn't interested in her cake at all even though she loves strawberries and it was a strawberry shortcake.  I think the cream put her off.  There will be other opportunities to smash cake I guess.

She travelled well and slept well.  She also allowed others to hold her doesn't always happen.  I felt as though she might have recognised my brother.  We arrived home on Sunday afternoon feeling satisfied and happy after our short trip away.

  

Raising an American

I love watching the Colbert Report, he teaches me more about current events than the BBC, local, and national news I hear on the radio every day.  A guest on his show today was talking about how it's his mission to challenge all Americans to learn the Gettysburg Address.  This inspired me to think about BabyBird.  

I joke that she's our 'American brat' but always say she's a kiwi, despite her passport and birth certificate.  It's a bit confusing to me - at first I thought of her as similar to those children I taught in Bangladesh.  They're known as 'third culture kids'.  They're from one country, living in another country (and surrounded by the nationals of that country) yet they socialise with other expats from all over the world (this is the third culture) and live expat lives.  But BabyBird socialises primarily with Americans and international students.  Jbird and I don't view ourselves as 'expats'.  Perhaps because we haven't been sent by anyone in our country, rather we decided to come here ourselves.  

I don't think she'll have a Kiwi accent until we move home - not that accents define your culture.  I guess I want her to be a Kiwi but when you consider America and it's immigrant roots, maybe she's about as American as you can get.  Unless she spends the majority of her life in New Zealand which may or may not happen - that's yet to be decided.  Perhaps we'll end up in Istanbul.  Anyway, considering this I realise that I have a duty to teach her both sides of the story, in an unbiased/non-judgmental way.  I can't be disparaging about her country.  

I look forward to thinking about this more and incorporating it into our family values.  

A sublime moment

...happened tonight following a busy day.  We got home just a tiny bit late for BabyBird's bed time.  It was still light out after I had put her to bed so I grabbed a moment to myself 'on the stoop' as they say in Baltimore (and probably NYC).  Our 'stoop' - we had some bricks in front of our garden that I loved to sit on between activities - has been commandeered by the apartment management so I wasn't technically stooping but the light and the cooler-than-inside air made it feel authentic.  I made an affogato, grabbed my book, pulled out the garden chair, and I found my moment of peace.  

Have you enjoyed a similarly idyllic moment recently? 

Long distance marriage tips

I feel sad to be here without Jbird.  We are experiencing lovely late summer weather, reconnecting with friends and family, and enjoying the beauty of New Zealand.  Meanwhile, Jbird is going to school every day and experiencing some extreme cold temperatures that has even forced the city of Indianapolis (an hour north of Bloomington) to close for a day.  Every time we talk he has his jacket and hat on.  He told me that I have left him so much food, he may never need to go to the supermarket while we're away.  We'll see.

Though we were generally able to sleep at night time and stay awake during the day, BabyBird experienced her own form of jet-lag induced disorientation. She was very clingy, would wake up during the night for feeds, and was generally not the little girl I know and love.  It was hard for the grandparents who all want to shower her in cuddles as she was definitely a mummy's girl for a few days.  In a different world, I was her constant.  She seems to be settling down now and allows others to pick her up again, even exploring around the house without me.  What a relief.

As for missing Jbird, I have compiled a few tips after trying to connect with him long distance.

1. Skype every day.  

2. Don't skype non-stop - it becomes boring.  

3. During your conversation make sure to ask about the other person.  Let them share with you the ups and downs of their life.

4. Watch short videos together.  We watched this one this morning.  It was hilarious.  Make sure you start the video at the same time.

5. Have regular dance-offs.  We were supposed to dance to two songs but we chose the same song! (awww, mushy mushy).  Really go through with it, you will find the dancing exhilarating.

6. Check your online calendar to see what the other person is up to that day. This will help you know why they might seem absent and give you fuel for conversation when you do talk later.

7. Think of them during the day.  This has led to me sending some kiwi treats back across the waters with a friend who stayed with us for a few days and lives in Bloomington.  Jbird is really excited.

8. If you don't manage to catch each other online, make sure to email a sweet note or post a hello on their fb page.  

And that's it so far.  One week down, four to go.