A change to my letters

I have been waiting since October to find out whether I have completed all the requirements to graduate with a Masters of Education.  The first half of the degree was completed at a different university, ten years ago, has since been discontinued, and offered some questionable classes (i.e.: where they at the Masters level?) so there was some question as to whether I could use it or whether I would need to do another year of study.  The university had told me about a year ago - after signing off on it and then re-questioning it - that it would qualify.  However, I felt sceptical about whether they would remember and/or hold to that decision.  In short, I didn't want to let myself relax until they finalised it just in case my hopes were dashed.  As Jbird says, I am prone to: When in doubt, panic.  He is the opposite, the lucky guy, being more prone to: When in doubt, stop thinking about it.

I got a letter from my university today.  It tells me that not only do I qualify, I also passed with distinction.  This is an unexpected added bonus - I hadn't done so well on two of the four classes, only receiving B+s, and was sure I wouldn't qualify for the distinction.

So now the letters will change.  I was Annabel J. Short.  Then I became Annabel J. Short, B.Ed., Post Grad. Dip. Ed. (Music).  That last segment was so confusing.  Nobody ever knew what it meant and I was forever explaining: it's half a Masters in teaching music.  I can go back and finish the Masters whenever I want to.  Despite the confusion, it got me two great music teaching jobs just when I wanted and needed them.  

NOW I am Annabel J. Bird (nee Short), B.Ed., M.Ed. (Teaching and Learning).  A little more distinguished and a little simpler.

Theories of learning

In my studies, I have been surprised to find that while current teaching theory is based on socio-constructivist theory, where students are active in their learning and not passive, behaviourist theory still resides within the psychologist's world of bad behaviour.  My question is, how do we overcome this paradox?  We're told the students should plan, learn, and assess their classes together, but that we should treat the 'naughty' ones like Pavlov and his dogs.  That is, reinforce good behaviour with a smile and praise, and any bad behaviour by ignoring them.  I guess it's more complicated than that, but I was really hoping for a modern secret to dealing with naughty children in the classroom when I chose to take this behaviour management class.  I guess there isn't one.  

Experience has shown me that there are ways to tell a child they're not meeting your expectations that they'll be more likely to listen to.  Avoid shouting from across the classroom, or even from higher up than them.  Instead, proximity and being at their eye level work better as you're less intimidating and they're not getting the attention from the whole class.  Instructions on a more desired behaviour are helpful too.  I was such a shouter when I first started teaching.  Not just because I was at the end of my tether and had no other ideas, but also because teachers around me did the same and I was learning from them.  I hated it, the students hated it, it wasn't a very nice atmosphere.   

Pressure

So here's part of my issues: I have three huge assignments to do and they're due in...a little over a month.  Oh gosh.  I thought I had a bit longer.  My plan is to write and write and write.  But I've been really slow about getting started so it feels like the pressure is on.  Hopefully I have learned enough this year that it will be easy.  Unfortunately if I've learned anything this year, I've learned that writing takes me a lot of time, a lot of drafts, and a lot of rereading.  I am putting up heavy socialising boundaries until November as they are due between the 14th and the 24th of October.  So overwhelming.  I hope aneverydaythought.blogspot.com survives the crunch.

The rest of the crisis is unimaginable, I literally don't know how big it is myself, but I will know on Thursday when I hope it will all be done and dusted.  I will (probably) spill the beans about it then.  The thing is, on that side of things, it will either still need a lot of working out, or it will still be super uninteresting for all those not going through it.  Sorry to be so vague.  Just know that if you never find out, you can probably ask me in person and I'll tell you.

On handing in some work, being a klutz, and motivation

I'm handing in an essay today.  There was a point when I was proof reading this essay that I was in tears because I thought my writing was so awful.  My encouraging husband told me it's because my writing has improved a lot but so have my expectations.  My feelings of frustration come because I want my writing to be better than it is, but he tells me it's already better than other things I've recently written.  Good teaching on his part, teachers have to be motivators. This is an example of wanting to be able to do something straight away, wanting to avoid the inevitable klutziness of developing a new skill.  My lecturer had me read something about that just this week.  It seems obvious, right?  Yet if we don't have motivation, good guidance, or know how to progress, we reject these feelings of klutziness and give up.  

Back to the essay: I finished it last week but a wise sage (a.k.a.: Jbird) once said to me when I suggested I might hand something in early: Annabel, think of it as a piece of art, keep working on it for as much time as you have because it will never be perfect.  He then went on a spiel about his piano playing.  He does like to preach and he says some pretty good stuff.  Unfortunately, I'm not always patient enough to listen.  So I've read and reread this tedious piece of work for the last few days and today is 'D' day.  It's a funny journey.  Now that I'm handing it in, I'm less sure than ever that I'm on the right track.  It seems that my writing has been whittled down to the simplest terms and I've begun to wonder whether it has enough depth.  I probably know it too well. 

Only three more of these to go and I'm done with this degree.  Hooray!

We're chasing our tails to stay afloat

This month is proving to be a crazy busy month for both Jbird and I.   Him especially.  He started an early music history summer school class three weeks ago: 8am classes, five days a week for two months.  To receive the scholarship, he has to accompany for two studios.  He is also a day counsellor and a practice couch for the piano academy summer school and an accompanist for a teacher at the string academy summer school.  The two accompanying gigs require rehearsals.  Scheduling it all in is proving to be a nightmare, I don't know how he's doing it.  If you asked him, he'd probably say: a day at a time.  Jbird is a whizz at taking things a day at a time.  I prefer a little bit more structure in my life.

The piano and string summer schools will only be for a couple more weeks and we will both breath a little bit more easily. 

Processing the ideas

I'm working on a paper I initially found interesting but I had to put it aside for another one and I'm finding it really hard to pick up again.  The ideas that are coming up are all based around critical pedagogy: democracy, voice, agency, dialogue.  Really great ideas.  Unfortunately, the research I have found is all humanistic in that it not only suggests power should be distributed evenly, it also says we create power, together.  I was getting really sucked into this idea, that it is us that creates power but I read a something by Paul Friere today about the idea that we create word (or dialogue as he calls it), together, not alone. And it struck me that no, we don't, God did, does, and will.  But then He gave a lot of it to us, earthly power, and we mess it up all the time.

I spent the next four hours not doing anything because I was so flummoxed by it all, I wondered if I needed to change topics at this late stage, and I had to have a moment to have a think.  I'm ready to get into it now.  Or tomorrow, when I'm not working (bah today was my 'study' day).  My implications are going to be awesome, but I will dutifully analyse and synthesis the humanism out of it all first. 

Democracy in life

Two of my classes are focussing on democracy in schools.  I guess it's the go-to phrase at the moment.  I think it's been a popular idea for years now, I feel as though I am very slow to catch on.

It's all about being accepting of student's viewpoints, really hearing what they have to say, taking it on board, and even portraying it in our own actions.  I was worried that it was a tad humanist, as some of the authors portray it in their humanist educational models, but I have been able to place it into my Christian world view through James' teaching of a foundational lesson in favouritism.  It's easy for us to 'look up' to certain people and to 'look down' on others too.  We don't even have to say anything to do this, we can merely think it.

I have been reflecting on my reactions to my most beloved (Jbird) and realise that I'm not always very democratic in our marriage.  It's a pretty helpful insight.  Just because I don't like something, doesn't mean it's wrong and that I need to convince him of my point of view.  I can tell him, but I ought to listen (really listen) to his point of view too.  Plus, get this, he shouldn't have to tell me what his viewpoint is, he can choose to keep it to himself.

Yes.  It took me three years to realise this. <sigh> I'm just a baby! I'm not saying I've been a dictator in our marriage, either!  Though some of you may sometimes wonder.

Big School Girl

It's my niece's first day of school today.  It's such an adjustment, starting school.  I taught new-entrants for a week last year, it was a crazy week, I don't know if I could do it on a regular basis.  I wish I could see her walking hand in hand with a classmate as they follow their teacher around the school.  I wonder what her new teacher is like?  I wonder if she'll make a friend today that she'll keep for the rest of her life?  I have one of those friend.  I wish I had the privilege of picking her up from school one day this week, walking her home and making her an afternoon tea snack while she tells me about her day.  Kia kaha, lovely girl.

The Tricky Ones

I read an inspiring chapter this week for my class, Understanding Children with Behavioural Problems.  It was all about being unafraid to show our own infallibility, having a high tolerance for behaviour even though it doesn't necessarily match what we learned was 'right' and 'good' when we were growing up. Listening rather than telling, guiding towards socially acceptable behaviour rather than taking a strong stand.  I could go on.  They are such lovely, big ideals to have when faced with a difficult child in the classroom. 

Ants ants everywhere

With the warm weather came the ants, they are investigating our kitchen. They have not yet found the pantry or the sugar bowl but they are on the hunt and they will.  They are beginning to drive me crazy.  I squash one and four more miraculously appear.  We leave anything sugary in the trash and they swarm to it.  I clean and clean and clean but I don't think I can keep it up!

We had the maintenance man bung up a hole they seemed to be pouring through but they found another entrance.  I have laid dried mint leaves which I heard would divert them.  They're diverted - around the leaves and continuing on their original path.  I don't want to lay poison.    Poison will work, but I don't want it in my garden.  Poisoning our worms and contaminating our vegetables. Do you have any better solutions? 

Zotero

My professor wanted me to pay for and download a particular bibliography/referencing software which was linked to the university's online resources and heavily discounted for students - Endnote.  I wanted to yell at somebody: please stop taking my money and decided I would create my own table system within Mword.  It looked really lame.  Endnote sounded like it'd take all the thinking out of creating an APA style bibliography as required for all classes in my program but lets be honest, my bibliographies have always been fine and they don't take all that much thinking.

A few days later, someone from the university suggested downloading the free program: Zotero.  I did.  It works!  I input the data and click on some buttons, finally pasting directly onto my Mword document and voila, a lovely bibliography appears.  All italics, punctuation, line spacing and positioning of data in its correct place.  Loverly.

Alphabetical Know-how

I mentioned last week that I planning to start reading for one of my classes a bit earlier than the university calendars dictate.  Well, I did.  The first few chapters were pretty heavy going.  Full of big, hard to understand vocabulary, grammar, and ideas.  I thought I might drown.  But I've been enjoying it more as my head has repositioned itself into the subject matter: children with emotional and behavioural disorders.  

The reading I did yesterday was all about preventative measures in early childhood/pre-school, from age about three, when the disorder would first start to become obvious.  In her commentary, my lecturer mentioned that behavioural disorders are more likely to happen in children that don't have letter recognition (i.e.: don't really know their alphabet and can't recognise different letters).  NOT because they're not smart, but because of the amount of talking and communicating that happens at home - or is not happening.  She also mentioned that socio-economic status isn't necessarily directly linked to behavioural disorders.   Rather, it's the amount of stress that is occurring at the child's home, and how it's dealt with.  As we all know, stress can happen in any/every household.

I thought it was a well written, super interesting article, and I'm excited to start the essay for this paper.

As a side note, my comment "essay for this paper" directly translated into Americanese is: "paper for this class".  That one always makes for an interestingly confused conversation.