A little homesick

I know these emotions aren't true - I'm probably hormonal and they will pass.  But.  Today, I'd like to stop living this life and be at home in NZ living my old more normal life.  I'd like the security of a 9-5 job with all the benefits.  Work every day, maternity leave, holiday pay.  I'd also like to be able to see my family and friends whenever I want to.  And to know my groceries will fit into the boot of my car instead of wondering how I'm going to get them home on my bike.  That is how I feel today.  Bah.

Addendum: I do have some news that made me happy happy happy yesterday when I learned it.  And that is that Sophie will be here for Christmas!  Yahoo!!  I thought it was going to be a quiet one with just Jbird and I and I couldn't bring myself to feel excited about it BUT her plans have changed and she will be here too.  Bloomington Bike Gang Unite.

The upcoming concerto recital

Woops - this was supposed to post yesterday.  Sorry, it stayed a draft over night...

I have been cycling around campus putting up posters for Jbird's upcoming concert.  It's on Sunday at 1pm at the Recital hall, if you happen to be in town.  As I left the campus, I was cycling passed Jbird's studio and I heard his concerto wafting through the window as he practised with the conductor.  He's playing the Delius piano concerto. Jbird's sounding great and it's a fun piece to listen to.  I'm excited to hear it with the orchestra on Sunday.  Before that, I have to make enough sandwiches and brownie for 36 people for one of their rehearsals.  The logistics of freshness and transportation on the back of a bike currently fail me but I'm sure I'll work it out.

A night out

We ate at one of the nicest restaurants in Bloomington last night, Restaurant Tallent.  Jbird's teacher takes us there once a year.  It's the only restaurant he and his wife will eat at and he loves to stretch out the evening from appetizers right through to the digestif.  It's difficult eating out when you're pregnant.  There are so many no-nos, it can be quite mind boggling.  I know I ate at least two by accident - salami and a blue cheese sauce.  Oh well.  

I shared the beets with Justin for the first course.  Beets have magical properties in them and we've been having raw beet salad a lot at home recently.  For my main, I had the scallops with pigs belly.  When it arrived at the table it seemed really small, with only three scallops on it, but I found that the scallops with the pigs belly were more than I could eat.  The vegetables were divine, though unrecognisable - popcorn puree, spaghetti squash, pickled onion, and pecan.  For dessert I tried to share the persimmon bread pudding with Jbird but he'd had lamb for his main and had no more room.  Scattered throughout the evening we were also served crispy sour dough, a delicious meat and cheese platter, and some freshly made doughnuts with ricotta, and the aforementioned digestif.  I'm still fill this morning.

Holiday consumerism

For those of you in NZ who don't know much about Black Friday - which happens the day after Thanksgiving - it's like boxing day sales, except more intense.  People queue up at the doors of shops for hours to try and be in first to get the best deal.  The shops have been opening earlier every year.  When we first arrived it was around 7am, then 6am, then 4am, and this year it was at midnight on Thanksgiving day.  The deals are pretty phenomenal too but Justin and I stay away from them.  We don't have money to spend anyway and find the decision making process too hard because when we are spending money on something, it always needs a huge deliberation.  Cyber Monday is the following Monday and many online stores offer discounts or free shipping.  There are a few things I like to buy online like my cereal and shampoo so I shop around for the best deal and normally manage to save a few pennies.  It's pretty annoying though, looking out for the best deal, and I probably end up buying things I don't exactly need.  

This year I nearly convinced myself to get a sewing machine as I have a birthday coming up...in two months.  I found some decent basic ones for less than $100.  I had to do a deep soul search and realised that though I would hopefully make use of it, it's another hobby.  Hobbies cost money.  I would be buying material and thread, and probably ending up with a stash of material I won't use, as I have with wool for my knitting/crocheting and seeds for the garden.  And when/if we leave here, the machine will be the wrong electricity level for NZ.    I'm not exactly the world's best knitter and crocheter so I might just keep working on those for now. 

The Christmas tree is up

We set up our Christmas tree today which presented me all these lovely memories from our married season here in the States.  The first year we were here we bought a $25 fake Christmas tree. It felt really expensive to buy that tree at a time when our funds were at their most uncertain and it felt like our budget was stretched.  However, I decided that for me, a Christmas tree at Christmas is a necessity.  So I bought a packet of candy canes for a dollar and a cheap string of lights to decorate it with.  I was excited to find the Chrsitmas tree came pre-strung with lights and we could use the extra string to decorate a small part of our apartment.  

Now we have a lovely eclectic collection of decorations.  That first year, Mum and Dad sent us three decorations that are symbollic of NZ - a pohutukawa tree flower, a kowhai tree flower and a pukeko bird.  The next year they'd visited Australia and we got a kangaroo decoration.  Last year, Aunty Liz gave us some instruments, and this year we got a big star from my parents.  These decorations are all regular sized and kind of dwarf our tiny tree.  To add to these I've bought a miniature nativity set to hang, some miniature gold and silver bows, and a set of tiny ginergbread men and women.  Students have given us some large silver balls and a pretty angel topper.  A couple of years ago we made some decorations out of cinammon dough at church.  The dough is made out of apple sauce, glue and cinammon.  We then used cookie cutters to shape them, covering them with glitter, ribbon, and little red baubles.  They make strong decorations and smell delightful when you first open the box.   I've also crocheted some green and red flowers.   We have several strands of lights which we pick up at yard sales and thrift stores and we will hang them around our windows.  They're so pretty in these dimly lit apartments. 

I really wanted to buy a real tree this year but after a new pram,* I couldn't justify spending more money on a tree when I think of all the millions of things this new little baby will need.  It looks like my in-laws might visit next Christmas so perhaps we'll get the real tree for baby's first Christmas.

*I know I'm buying it relatively early as we're only 15 weeks pregnant, but it was on sale and I didn't want to miss out on the sale.

On celebrating Thanksgiving

I have been pondering this strange holiday which I have previously rejected as being my own and acted as a kind of observer of.  I've come to the conclusion that this is the wrong approach to take because it is my holiday too.  After all, it is not affiliated to any specific religious or specific cultural group, rather to the survival of the people in a young nation of both immigrants and natives (or that's my understanding, please feel free to correct me).  That is the thing that is so great about Thanksgiving too: it's for everybody.   

This year I've decided that I'm an immigrant of sorts too.  My visa may suggest otherwise, as I have entered on non-immigrant/temporary status.  But my plans are here right now, tied up in Jbird's degree.  Perhaps one day our status will change or perhaps we'll end up somewhere else.  For now, I'm living here, and I'm celebrating Thanksgiving properly.

What does that mean?  It's easy to get caught up in the food as everybody seems to place so much emphasis on it, on the twist their family takes with the same few dishes.  Food became the a symbol for all that we have to be thankful for so it is appropriate.  Today I've been taking stock of where we are, what we're doing, and who we're becoming.  Not through any ceremony but just in my thoughts.  Good enough for me.  Soon I'll be enjoying the company of others and considering the privilege it is to have friends to enjoy. 

The notebook

I recently lost an A4 (letter size) notebook.  It had a black cover and was spiral bound with blank thick cartridge pages.  Losing this notebook gave me a tight feeling in my chest.  I started using it at the beginning of the year, a time when I was trying to get my head around all that I had to do.  I used it to write notes for school, plan my weekly schedules, and write 'to do' lists.  As well as my weekly reminders, I had written three important lists in it: 'to do before I finish my study', 'to do with my parents' and 'to do post-study'.  I found the notebook today, six weeks later, having completed all those deadlines and had the visit from my parents.  Annoyingly it was exactly where I had expected it to be but my eye must have glanced over it in my  searching.  

I have a sense of relief in finding it, as though the notebook keeps me together in one piece and I'll be able to accomplish more because of it.  I don't know if I've alluded to the feeling I have about my sudden freedom.  I've had this freedom before - where I was a housewife, with nothing much going on.  It didn't turn out so well.  My self-esteem was crippled by being purposeless and I wasn't happy.  With nothing much to do and in cold weather, it can be difficult to get out of bed.  It can also be difficult to stay out of bed once you've gotten up.  After all, what is there to do out of bed?  Tasks which can feel important or unimportant depending on the sun.    

I have been known to enjoy this strange, unexpected life through accomplishing small daily purposes.  Staying in bed is the worst possible remedy.  So my notebook, my lists, and having a schedule are important to me.  They keep me going, keep me sane, and keep me accomplishing.  They all amount to getting Jbird through these degrees, loving him, and not resenting him for bringing me here.  Right now I'm also riding on a bigger accomplishment of my own: finishing a degree I had left partially completed for nearly a decade. 

Another turkey week

It's the lead up to Thanksgiving and I was at a friend's doing some prep-work with her yesterday.  Last year I made the Pumpkin Pie.  This year I made the cranberry sauce while she made the stuffing.  

Cranberry sauce is a hard one to fathom - I want to eat it as a dessert but it's a side for the turkey.  Today we made ours with nearly a whole pineapple and two and a half pounds of fresh cranberries.  The stuffing Ashley was working on is is quite different from the simple affair that New Zealanders stuff their roast chickens with.  Surprisingly it's rarely stuffed inside the bird but baked like a casserole or cake in the oven.  This way you can make enough to go around and it doesn't risk being covered in dangerous uncooked poultry juices.  I think Ashley's recipe had some ground meat, mushrooms, onions, celery, and I'm not sure what seasoning.  She will add bread and stock before baking it on Thursday.  

I have been given the job of baking the broccoli casserole on Thanksgiving morning.  I will use Ashley's grandmother's recipe.  New Zealanders will never be able to imagine the goodness of a green bean or broccoli casserole.  I can't really describe it, but along with the broccoli it needs mushroom and chicken soup (from a can), cheese, butter, crackers, and some time in the oven.  It's a relief to have someone give me a recipe and tell me what to do, helping me to fit in with the traditions of that family.  Our family doesn't have traditions but I'm collecting recipes.  I'm also going to try to bake some gingerbread men because I think Ashley's four sons will like them and they will go well with a cup of coffee if people can't fit pie.  Regardless, they should compliment any pie and not overwhelm it.

A step away from my front door

The morning Andy, Nicole, Mum, and Dad were all here we were all mulching around.  Andy was online reading the paper, Jbird was re-writing an essay (having lost a section of it on our trip to St. Louis which showed up later in the pocket of the suitcase), and we were all being lazy about showering and getting our breakfast together.  Eventually I got a bit frustrated because the morning was going and I had an appointment in the afternoon so I said to Mum and Nicole: Let's go check out the great international store around the corner while we wait for everyone else to get ready.  I called it an international store naively because it's the place I always think to visit when I'm craving something from home.  I probably won't be able to find the exact item there but I might be able to find a substitute from another British colony.  Actually, there's hardly anything from NZ there except wine and licorice allsorts (!!!).

As we were leaving, the boys all jumped into gear, feeling guilty for their lazy ways (except Jbird who had to go to school), and suddenly we had a party of five.  On arriving at the store, Dad and Andy were both immediately bored but Mum, Nicole, and I quickly became immersed in the wonders of this store.  It seriously has everything.  For example I went in there this afternoon looking for wheat germ, brewer's yeast, brazil nuts, dried apricots, and alfalfa.  The only item I didn't find was the alfalfa.  It is also a wealth of any herbal remedy you can think of, and has a huge selection of wine, cheese, olives, and teas.  

This is a stark contrast to when we first arrived in America.  The first store I found was basically a booze store which also sold a few grocery items.  I wondered if we'd be eating two minute noodles and overpriced sugary cereal for dinner for the extent of our stay here.  When I eventually found some real supermarkets I was overwhelmed for a while, especially when I tried perusing the freezer sections which generally consist of aisles and aisles and aisles of processed/pre-prepared food.  More freezers than any kiwi girl can imagine.  I've learned to avoid this section except when looking for frozen berries, peas, and a few other things.  Probably those items you most expect to find in the freezer section at home.

NB: if you live in Bloomington, the store is the east side Sahara Mart. 

A fail in the kitchen

I goofed up big time on a meal for our neighbours last night.  I was making slow cooked split pea soup with a ham hock*  and whole wheat focaccia bread.  First of all, I completely killed the bread - it was as hard and thin as a cracker. Bah to that.  The recipe called for 24 hours rising time in the refrigerator but I rushed it without adding extra yeast, silly me.  I guess I normally leave whole wheat bread to rise even longer than white bread so that might have been the second reason for its lack of rising.   It rose beautifully for the first two sittings but just sat there for the last one.  Secondly, my soup came out really really salty.  Unfortunately, if I follow a recipe, I like to really follow the recipe so Jbird can't say Did you follow the recipe? if it turns out wrong.  This recipe called for 5 cups of chicken stock* along with the ham hock.  My instincts told me: the ham hock will create loads and loads of flavour, you don't need chicken stock as well. But for some reason I ignored those instincts and added all that stock anyway.  When the soup was basically ready, I tasted it and was really annoyed to find that while it looked absolutely gorgeous and perfect, lovely and green and thick, it tasted really really salty.  To try and fix it, I added as much water as I could without compromising its thickness and served it anyway.  I think my replacement open face cheese toasties*** soaked up some of the salt.  I used some lovely Gouda cheese on them and it wasn't too sad not to have home made bread.

This morning I'm cooking up some more split peas to add to the left over soup to calm down the overdose in flavour.  I will freeze it in small one and two serving size Tupperware.  We love defrosting home made frozen soup for lunch in this cold weather.   

*some ham on a bone

** American term for stock: broth

***American term for cheese toasties: grilled cheese sandwiches